Results tagged “Another Take” from Bill's Words

Article here.

So… she’s going to go to court in about a month and faces up to six months in jail and $1,000 in fines.

Seems to me that the best interest of the public would be served if the town just bought the kids a football or two. It’d save a helluva lot of the public’s resources and I’m guessing the kids aren’t going to let the football go into the old bat’s yard again anyway.

Good grief, but we’re stupid sometimes.

Article here.

Another good reason to move to California (the first OJ trial is the other good reason to move there): California juries aren’t all that bright.

You see, Britney was driving without a license.

But the jury can’t reach a verdict as to whether or not she was driving without a license.

Hmmm.

(Why the hell is this a jury trial in the first place, anyway? Isn’t that a complete waste of a lot of people’s time… and money?)

Article here.

Another take:

These guys sell a service (you pay by listening to an ad) that allows you to bypass the possibility of your party’s picking up the phone and sends you straight to their voicemail so—now get this—you don’t have to talk to them. Anybody with half a brain (or a phone that shows missed calls or lack thereof) will realize that’s what happened.

It’s almost like, oh, I don’t know, writing an E-mail or writing a letter.

Talk about seriously passive-aggressive.

Article here.

Another take:

She’s 54.

Fifty.

Four.

And in related news, court battle is to decide who keeps the couple’s fountain of youth.

Article here.

Another take:

And in other news, I want a pony.

Article here

Another take:

Great. Another product that people will hold in high regard in spite of the fact that it is overpriced for what it does.

Or so says Consumer Reports.

Article here.

Another take:

I laughed until I realized that it wasn’t IKEA who was sending the inspectors to Syria.

I thought they’d probably have found furniture faux pas, but not nuclear material.

Article here.

Another take:

I’m guessing he won’t be buried in a Pringles Can. Unless, of course, it’s black and white and can be rented from the local grocery store.

Article here.

Another take:

Um, yeah. “Prompt.”

“Prompt” as in “We had our heads so far up our butts that we required a laxative to achieve movement in our cyclone response. And even then, it took us a while on the pot. Good thing we survived. Those peasants wouldn’t know what to do without us.”

So much said by one word.

Article here.

Another take:

I’ve been to San Francisco and Los Angeles. I’ve seen Hollywood in the news.

I guess Mr. Peckman has, too.

Article here.

Another take:

American Airlines takes first step towards ensuring that nobody, but nobody, wants to use their airline. $15 isn’t a lot to ask. What is a lot to ask is for passengers to deal with substantially longer and more frustrating boarding times and processes as everybody tries to stuff their overloaded rollons into the overhead bins leaving no room for anybody else. And since American flies MD80 and similar airplanes, they just aren’t designed to handle the huge number of carryons that will be brought on board.

And then what happens when someone brings one on board that just won’t fit (even though it’s the RightSize)? Will American charge $15 on the spot? Or not and royally tick off those who paid $15 for their bag?

Bong!

American Airlines, that’s the sound of the death knell tolling for thee.

Article here.

Another take:

This site is not for sale.

(Unless you’re offering, like, $25 million. H/T Daring Fireball.)

Article here.

Another take:

This might have caused a problem for me about 30 years ago when I remember thinking to myself, “He likes this stuff?!”

Article here.

Another take:

I’ll be sad the day the inventor of the box of wine dies, too.

Articles here, here and here.

Another take:

Look, Ma! No news!

(Well, other than that little earthquake in China and some other little things… wow. I guess there really isn’t that much in the news today.)

Article here.

Another take: Junta votes to keep its head firmly up its butt. No end in sight.

Article here.

Another take: No, not really, but good reading nonetheless.

Article here.

Another take:

I’m confused.

Madams are the dealers. Selling sex is illegal.

Johns are the users. Purchasing sex is illegal.

Possession with the intent to distribute carries a much stiffer (ahem) penalty than mere use, in accordance with society’s wishes.

So why is it that we’re somehow shocked that people who are arrested are embarrassed, as if they were too good to be caught? Or that users, who commit a lesser crime, are more likely to face a lesser penalty than the dealers, who commit a more serious crime?

These people’s lives weren’t destroyed by some nameless, faceless societal prosecution, nor did the prosecutions cause the death of two criminals. No, these people destroyed their own lives. The prosecution merely implemented the penalties which the government and community have already decided carries out the ultimate goal.

Article here.

Another take:

At first, I laughed. How can a 15-year-old possibly have enough memories to write a memoir?

But then I remembered how little I remember from when I was 15 (and 14 and 13 and 12)…

I guess if I wanted to capitalize on my rise to stardom at that age, I’d have to have written it then, too.

Unless it had been so thoroughly documented by the press, of course,.

Article here.

Another take:

Wonder how I missed this one?

Oh, that’s right. I was actually using my Macintosh instead of screwing around with Vista on a pee cee.